The phrase “To err is human, to forgive is divine” is a phrase first used in an essay on criticism by Alexander Pope. Is forgiveness really so weighty that it is given a place in God’s kingdom of being “divine?” YES !!!
Forgiveness is one of the most important of all human behaviors. Un-forgiveness is one of the most self-destructive of all human behaviors! Really? Yes! Read the passage of the Unforgiving Servant found in Matthew 18:21-35. That servant is a metaphor of what we do to ourselves when we fail to forgive. The real hurt is on us, not on the person or persons whom we do not forgive. We become ungrateful, hateful, mean-spirited, and self-destructive. We imprison ourselves. When we do not forgive, it affects our well-being. Spiritually it robs us of our relationship to God. Emotionally it fosters hate and interferes in our relationships with others. Physically it makes us ill and disease ridden. Mentally it ruins our focus and causes tunnel vision and crooked thinking. So how do we forgive? There are many ways to do it. I will focus on five ways in this article.
I. Recall the Hurt. You must not suppress the feelings of hurt and anger. Own them. In the 33rd chapter of Genesis we see the conclusion of the story of Jacob stealing Esau’s birthright, which left him with only a third of his father’s wealth. Apparently both men felt the hurt and constantly thought about it. And it was resolved when Esau forgave Jacob.
II. Empathize with the Other Person. The definition for empathy includes seeing things from the other person’s point of view and feeling what that person feels. It also means understanding the motivation or pressure that led the person to do what they did. Jesus describes our Heavenly Father’s forgiveness as dependent on our forgiveness. (Matthew 6:14 & 15)
III. Be Altruistic. Altruism means giving when there is no expectation of getting anything in return. When you forgive someone, the forgiveness is for yourself it is not for the other person. Jesus said that when you pray, first forgive. That frees you up to receive forgiveness from God. (see Luke 6:37) When Esau forgave Jacob, Jacob could not give back. His response though, was gratitude: “Seeing your face is like seeing the face of God. (Genesis 33:10)