In 1897, Emile Durkheim, a pioneering sociologist, did the most comprehensive study of suicide ever done. He covered numerous countries in Europe, the US and South America. He came to conclude that most people who commit suicide do it for one of three reasons: They lose all the rules that govern their lives (Anomie); or, they die for a greater cause outside of themselves (Altruistic); or they fold in on themselves, implode, and cease to have a reason to live. He called this type of suicide “Egoistic.” This is the saddest form of all. The person starts making everything about himself or herself and completely ignores others or their needs and wants. This person becomes more selfish and more selfish with every human interaction. Eventually, they have become so self- centered and so caught up with their “stuff” that they just find no reason to live. It is a sad and wasteful way to end one’s life.
C.H. Parkhurst said it very well when he said, “The man who lives by himself and for himself is apt to be corrupted by the company he keeps.”
So how do you live outside of yourself? First, realize that you are not the only one on the face of this earth. Second, start looking for the pain and suffering of others. Third, start figuring ways that you can do things for the suffering and pain. Until you learn to do this, you have not really ever discovered true joy. Paul (Acts 20:35) said, “…you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus that he said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” When you turn outside of yourself, you not only experience joy, but you also become very mentally healthy. Paul said to Timothy (6: 18-19), “Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share.”
It doesn’t matter how poor you are in this United States, you are wealthy by world standards. Over two-thirds of the world’s population view all of us in this country as wealthy. So one way to start living outside yourself is to start sharing part of your money, however small the amount, with those less fortunate than yourself. There are plenty of church organizations, including the Cumberland Presbyterians, that can get your money to starving, homeless, sick and suffering people. Not too much into giving money? Then give of your time. There are many people right here in our community that need help that only can be given by people who use their time outside of themselves. Find them and help them.
St. Francis of Assisi, who gave up the riches he had inherited from his wealthy parents, became a pauper so that he could serve others without material things getting in the way. He was the antithesis to the “rich young ruler” that Jesus encountered as described in Luke 18: 18-23. The young man asked “I have kept the law from my youth up, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus told him to “…sell all that you have, give it to the poor and then come follow me.” The young man, unwilling to do that, went away sorrowing. Jesus was telling the young man that you have to live outside of yourself. To show how effective that was for St. Francis we need only look to his most famous prayer:
“Lord make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek:
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
t is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”
To start living outside of yourself, simply start. As soon as you finish reading this article in our church newsletter, get up and find someone who is in some kind of need and find something that you can do to help them which starts you to living outside of yourself. You will find it a rewarding experience and you will start discovering the path to Joy.